howeird: (Weird Dream)
[personal profile] howeird
Justin Bieber's bar mitzvah. I am the band leader. Typical band for a 500-seat event, an upright bass, a drummer, sax who doubles on clarinet, electric guitar. I have my trumpet, but I probably won't be playing it. The bar mitzvah boy gets up onstage to sing, I lay on a ton of schmaltz. He looks cute in a yarmulke.

Key of C, he says. He starts singing a Sinatra tune. Something from Pal Joey. The band knows it and follows him well. He takes his bow to more of my schmaltz and polite applause. Him mother is in a mink stole, she gives him a hug as he comes offstage and says something encouraging. I call for another round of applause.



Something about a space ship and speed bumps.

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howard stateman

September 2022

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