Greetings and Hallucinations

If you are reading this, chances are you have way too much time on your hands. Get a job. Find a hobby. Get some exercise. Go somewhere, do something.

What, still there? You still want me to entertain you? "tell me a story, daddy". Great. It's not enough that I cook over a hot slave all day to put food under the table just so you, my child, will not go horney. You also want me to be your anatomically correct surrogate TV set. I knew you would be trouble the day you were born.