Spiderman III

[howeird]

I think this movie was made to prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that Tobey Maguire's face only has one expression: dork. Way too much of this movie featured him unmasked. Way too much of this movie featured him trying to look cool, and failing miserably. A secondary purpose for this flick seems to have been to take Kirsten Dunst's image down a few pegs. Her costumes, makeup and hair were done with a clever use of microwaves and blenders, and whoever came up with the bright idea of having her sing...

Topher Grace (this is a name?) must have been cast by the same bozoids who inflicted Tobey on us - as the Bad Spider and evil twin photographer, he was unimpressive.

SM3 is heavy on computer gen effects, which got pretty boring after a while because they just kept using variations of the same loops. I kept waiting for The Rock to appear out of the sand effects.

James Franco did some good acting as the rich pretty boy villain-turned-hero. His final 10 minutes on screen was just plain stupid, but blame the writers and director for that. I think they chose the wrong ending for both the character and the actor. Thomas Haden Church is excellent as the mild mannered escaped-con-turned-sandman. Bryce Dallas Howard is cast as the Dumb Blonde police chief's daughter, and while she filled the role and the sweater admirably, she deserves something more substantial. It was quite a drop from Rosalind in As You Like It, but probably much better money, which I don't begrudge her. Rosemary Harris tries her best to bring some style to Aunt May, but the writers, makeup artists and cinematographers torpedo her performance.

There is some truly miserable editing, with several scenes which were shot single-camera in lame TV news style. The audio mixing was done by the school for the deaf. Dialog is at a whisper, action scenes are at window-breaking levels.

The plot gets off to a slow start and bogs down from there. Chase scenes are interminable. All in all it is 10 minutes of movie jam packed into 2.5 hours of film. Worth resurrecting MST3k for.

Comments

[pyrzqxgl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I loved the first two, but this one was a ridiculous mess.

[quaryn-dk.livejournal.com]

Much love for your username, your icon, and what I can only assume is a purple-haired Hermione? Where do I get myself one of those?

[pyrzqxgl.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

That's a Hermione "Secret Box" (if you lift Hermione off the books there's a little compartment containing a books charm) from back in 2000, and I had painted her hair iridescent purple. If you want one, I see that there are definitely some up on eBay right now -- just do a search for Hermione and secret, or Hermione and box, that kind of thing.

Are you mad?

[cinchntouch.livejournal.com]

SM 3 was one of the finest movies ever made. I found its artistry, sharp social satire and incredible use of mixed metaphor to examine modern urban alienation to be unmatched in the history of film. Not since Rise of the Silver Surfer has there been a movie as good as SM 3.

Re: Are you mad?

[howeird]

How dare you compare that epic classic Silver Surfer to the pile of filth SM3 was? Not only did Silver Surfer have deep, meaningful moments of teen angst, its very name shouted from the rooftops it would not be just another copy-cat sequel. SM3 isn't fit to lick its silver-blue booties.

Re: Are you mad?

[cinchntouch.livejournal.com]

Fine, but neither was as epic in scope and humanity as Transformers. That movie was better than a blowjob at lunch time!

[spacekatgal.livejournal.com]

True confession - I thought Tobey Maguire WAS Topher Grace from "That 70s Show" until this movie came out. They look so similar.

I wanted to see this one because Gwen Stacey is in it - and she was always a much more interesting character than Mary Jane. I also wanted to see it because I felt strongly that "Spiderman 2" was the best comic book movie ever made.

Still - this review in concordant with the others I've seen. What a shame.

Bri

[howeird]

I thought Tobey Maguire WAS Topher Grace
Side by side you can almost tell them apart. Almost.

Gwen Stacey
I'm not a comic book reader anymore, so I don't know what her character is supposed to be, but after a short opening scene where she answers a difficult question in phyics class, the writers have performed a lobotomy, and transplanted whatever mass was in her head into her bra.

[quaryn-dk.livejournal.com]

One of my LJ friends, tacit, I think, summarized the movie thusly (paraphrasing slightly):

This is the movie that not only killed the franchise, but ripped off its head, squatted down, and took a big steaming dump down its neck.

[natehead.livejournal.com]

I actually walked out of that steaming pile of manure known as SM3. I hadn't walked out of a movie in years. Tobey Maguire was a terrible Peter Parker from the beginning and then they just turned him into a (for lack of better term) whiny emo little bitch. It only spiraled further downward into awfulness and then Sand Man started CRYING... I was done. Walked out. He's made of sand... sand doesn't cry. No that isn't my worst complaint about the movie, but it certainly was the last straw.