The Weird Dream Channel
Jun. 8th, 2005 11:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
howeirdI think I was shouting in my sleep, and scared the cats because they were both far away when I woke up from this dream. I usually don't remember dreams, but this one somehow stuck.
I'm in a big open space. It is a surreal version of work -imagine the cubical walls have been removed, and most of the furniture. I'll change the names to protect the guilty. Fred, the annoyingly loud guy who works in the cube across from me, puts his phone on speakerphone. He's in the middle of a support call, and simply walks away. This infuriates me, and I start shouting at him that I was a lot stronger than he was even though he didn't think so, and if I was that kind of a guy I would beat him up. I don't think he heard me, he just kept walking away and was gone in a couple of seconds. The speakerphone conversation faded into background noise, but I was still very angry. I went around the area looking desperately for something to hit. To my left was Jack, another co-worker, and I thought about beating him up, but decided he was not part of the problem, so kept looking for a punching bag.
As I walked around the space, objects would appear as I approached. Strange objects. A papiér maché elephant in a dark blue-grey was the first one. I went up and started beating the crap out of it. This was not making me feel much better, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a samurai sword, but when I turned around and went up to it, it turned out to be mounted on a stand inside an aquarium, and as soon as I saw that I decided not to even try to get the sword. Then I started slowly turning around to see what else was around, and aquariums started to appear as I turned. Some of them had fish, one had strings of Mardi Gras beads, one had a hat with a long white feather in it.
I had a feeling that nothing I could do here would solve the problem with Fred, and as calm descended on me I woke up.
I'm in a big open space. It is a surreal version of work -imagine the cubical walls have been removed, and most of the furniture. I'll change the names to protect the guilty. Fred, the annoyingly loud guy who works in the cube across from me, puts his phone on speakerphone. He's in the middle of a support call, and simply walks away. This infuriates me, and I start shouting at him that I was a lot stronger than he was even though he didn't think so, and if I was that kind of a guy I would beat him up. I don't think he heard me, he just kept walking away and was gone in a couple of seconds. The speakerphone conversation faded into background noise, but I was still very angry. I went around the area looking desperately for something to hit. To my left was Jack, another co-worker, and I thought about beating him up, but decided he was not part of the problem, so kept looking for a punching bag.
As I walked around the space, objects would appear as I approached. Strange objects. A papiér maché elephant in a dark blue-grey was the first one. I went up and started beating the crap out of it. This was not making me feel much better, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a samurai sword, but when I turned around and went up to it, it turned out to be mounted on a stand inside an aquarium, and as soon as I saw that I decided not to even try to get the sword. Then I started slowly turning around to see what else was around, and aquariums started to appear as I turned. Some of them had fish, one had strings of Mardi Gras beads, one had a hat with a long white feather in it.
I had a feeling that nothing I could do here would solve the problem with Fred, and as calm descended on me I woke up.
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Date: 2005-06-08 08:15 pm (UTC)The interesting part to me is that you become calm as you realize you can't act out on the anger against "Fred." Or at least, not in the situation you're currently in. Because you did say you couldn't solve the problem "here." So, the answer lies outside of direct expression of anger, perhaps?
I dunno, just mumbling.
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Date: 2005-06-09 07:11 am (UTC)Fred and I do get along well, but at times he's way too loud. It's usually not a problem because most of our work is done via email, but when I'm on the phone it's annoying.
What amused me is I woke up as soon as I felt calm and relaxed again.
So, the answer lies outside of direct expression of anger, perhaps?
Sometimes there is no solution to a problem. Or at least none where the solution is worse than the problem it's supposed to fix. I used to have a violent temper. At some point something clicked inside which I call the "I don't care flag". Somehow, now nothing seems to be worth physically fighting for. This was the first time in years when I've shouted in my sleep, or felt really angry about something to the point of wanting to thrash someone. And it was over something trivial!
I'm thinking about what's going on in my life which the dream could be a metaphor for. No, nothing I can think of. Maybe it was a message that I really do want to take another job. See my next couple of posts and mumble at me some more.